Why Robot Bodies?

Robot Kangaroo

In my defense everything I know about kangaroo anatomy comes from Rocko's Modern Life, and he was a walabi.

I’m afraid of death, so I don’t plan on dying. I’m okay with inevitably needing to shut down my higher brain functions until something new comes along, but I have no interest in ever actually ceasing to exist. This is why my brain is going to be transplanted into a fully artificial, superhuman, robotic body.

Now, here of course is where the argument comes into play between those of us in the pro-robot-body community. Some of us are perfectly content with the replacing ourselves with robot duplicates that are capable of blending in with the rest of humanity. Of course, these physically superior bodies, with carbon nanotube skeletons and hydraulic super-muscles would render us nearly invulnerable, and as such we would have to fulfill a social obligation to perform the duties of super heroes, but we would still relatively blend in.

The other school of thought follows the lines of thinking that the human body is incredibly inefficient at just about everything except being humanoid, so we would obviously want to revise the design and make something superior to the human body. This, obviously, is a foolish concept thought up by people prone to flights of fancy and binge whiskey drinking. It would take years for your mind to relearn how to control the body, and then if you ever went out in public you would have the entire US Government shoot you down with rockets and sky lasers.

After over a decade of debate, however, I believe that there has been a final decision made as to exactly how our immortal robot bodies should take form.

Nanocloud

More accurately a brain ship controlling a swarm of nanites. You see the brain ship will be our central mind housing unit, possibly in the shape of a large sphere who’s outside shell is made entirely of carbon nanotubes. Inside, our minds will rest at ease housed inside an ever expansive crystalline hard drive. The brain ship will never leave space, instead remaining in orbit when our nanites go down to the surface of a world to explore it. The nanites will go down to the surface and explore life on the planet by recreating all the local fauna from air particles and implanting themselves inside the brain, eventually being released back into the air to take another form or to join back with the brain ship and add their experience and knowledge to the collective.

The way I figure it, you could implant a nanite replicant into every culture on Earth, live out a full lifetime, beam your experiences back to the hive brain, and have a perfect understanding of humanity in just under 100 years! Of course by the time you made a loop around just our section of the milky way, you’d probably have to start all over again because life and culture would have changed that much on each planet.

Since you will live forever, though, eventually you will outlive all life in the universe. At that point you’ll shut off your conscious thought, leave the brain ship on autopilot and set your nanites to wake you when some new form of life comes along so you can start it all over again.

Isn’t technology wonderful?

5 thoughts on “Why Robot Bodies?

  1. Indeed! I find myself wanting to write an ad for this idea. Complete with visuals and perhaps video. A script! Ohh, *smacks hands together. This is my specialty!

    1. Robot Body Awareness is indeed a very important issue to me. Youtube should be filled with RBA PSAs!

  2. Stereo.* says:

    I’d like this post to be accompanied by one of your doodles. Thank you kindly.

    1. Your wish is my command. To The Doodle Hole!

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