Blog, Deep Archives, Top 9

Top 9 Movies I Have to Stop Complaining No One Appreciates

I can be pretty vocal to my friends about movies. I think I’ve made it clear in the past with my opinions about The Dark Knight Rises and other movies. I’m a geek. Geeks have a passion for things like movies. I’m not going to apologize for it. I will continue to enjoy these movies for the rest of eternity, too, since I’m having them uploaded into my robot brain. I just promise that I won’t keep bitching about the fact that no body appreciates them the way I do. I should get over the idea that people need to have deep affection for the things I worsh enjoy.

All of my anger about this list comes from either the Rotten Tomatoes rating of these movies, or the fact that every time I mention that I love them one or more of my friends throw fryer fresh fires at my head.

Life lessons are often learned through intense oil burns.

So, without further adieu, I give you:

TOP9MOVIESJERKS

eeeerrr…

 

TOP 9 MOVIES I HAVE TO STOP

COMPLAINING NO ONE APPRECIATES

 

NUMBER 9: TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT (28%)

 

Okay. The first thing you need to know about this movie is, despite the fact that it takes place in 1988, Topher Grace’s character is a textbook millennial. He’s some sort of super-genius math guy who graduates from MIT and then decides to work at a video store for the rest of his life because every other option sucks. Then, he and his friend steal a car filled with coke to impress the pretty blonde woman and he parties himself into adulthood. You know, the true story for most of us.

I’m not sure why this movie only gets a 28% on Rotten Tomatoes. It is indeed a brilliant movie with the most kick-ass 80s soundtrack you can find.

Maybe I identify a little too much with it because I wish I had one coke-filled night to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, and I have a friend that would get a bag of cocaine and immediately want to snort it all.

If you haven’t seen this movie, watch it. .

NUMBER 8: Charlie Bartlett (56%)

Charlie Bartlett is a movie I really wanted to see in theaters, but it got dumped before I could get to it. It’s basically a movie about a teenager that figured out that drugs make you popular, so he became an amateur psychologist and sold drugs to the kids as medication. Eventually it all turns to crap because one kid uses the meds to try and off himself. After that, we all learn a lesson about how everyone is more or less screwed up. In a lot of ways it is a pretty typical coming-of-age movie, but it has the benefit of Robert Downey Jr playing the alcoholic principal that gets called out on his hypocrisy, and it has Kat Dennings, which is a benefit to just about any movie.

It gets compared to both American Pie and Pump up the Volume, which is one of my favorite movies, but that comparison isn’t fair. This isn’t a raunchy teen comedy, but it also isn’t a fully dramatic youth-rebellion movie.

I think it’s a slightly less depressing Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Anyway, if you want to see Robert Downey Jr getting drunk and shooting his tiny toy boat, watch this movie.

If you want to see a kid do something instead of bitching, watch this movie.

If you want to see someone bang a pie… skip it.

 Number 7: Saved! (61%)

  <p>Okay, so a lot of people are going to go, “Saved! That movie Rocks!” I wish that <em>everyone</em> would say that. Unfortunately, this is one of those films that entered into “cult status.” It’s a brilliant comedy that is better than Juno in <em>every conceivable way</em>. </p>  <p>One of the things I really love about this movie is the religious aspect and the undertone of “Religion by the Book versus Religion by the Spirit.” The best message in the world is the idea that Religion (and in this movie Christianity specifically) can be both a wonderful, embracing community or it could be a destructive force of terror. I appreciate that it shows that the true spirit of the religion will win out over those who use the teachings to push their own agendas and beliefs. </p>  <p>There is no skipping this movie. If you haven’t seen it, go and see it. If you have, as I suspect is true for most of you, then watch it again. I’m going to. </p>  <h2 align="center"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Dead-Man-On-Campus/dp/B008C6VLV6/ref=sr_1_1?s=instant-video&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1374812113&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=Dead+Man+on+Campus">Number 6: Dead Man on Campus (15%)</a></h2>  <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:a237d4c0-252e-4e4c-acea-22f0856e2984" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; width: 448px; margin-right: auto"><div><object width="448" height="252"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PZbXDnXEpfk?hl=en&amp;hd=1"/><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PZbXDnXEpfk?hl=en&amp;hd=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" height="252"/></object></div></div>    <p>This movie has the second lowest Rotten Tomatoes rating on the list. I know why. It isn’t a good movie as far as acting goes... or cinematography... or script... and it wasn’t as good as American Pie, which came out a year later, but this movie had something that no other movie has:</p>  <p>Mark Paul Gosselaar AND Alyson Hannigan! </p>  <p>Unfortunately, this is the movie that pretty much pushed Tom Everett Scott into the B-list bin. </p>  <p>Which makes me sad, because the end of this film, when ##SPOILER ALERT FOR A MOVIE THAT IS ALMOST 15 YEARS OLD## he is about to kill himself, is one of the most powerful, evocative scenes ever. </p>  <p>Look, maybe I have a skewed opinion on this movie because when I saw it I was living alone in a shitty duplex contemplating my own death, but it had a powerful impact on me. </p>  <p>Besides:</p>  <p>MARK PAUL GOSSELAAR AND ALYSON HANNIGAN! </p>  <h2 align="center"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003UOXNTI/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B003UOXNTI&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=screvoicofrea-20">NUMBER 5: Pumpkin (38%)</a></h2>  <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:3dcdeb37-28a9-4b5b-8d1e-53e45538d9d0" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; width: 448px; margin-right: auto"><div><object width="448" height="252"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NvhzaFRYO2w?hl=en&amp;hd=1"/><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NvhzaFRYO2w?hl=en&amp;hd=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" height="252"/></object></div></div>    <p>I should probably feel bad for loving this movie. I can’t think of a more offensive movie to put on a list of movies to admit that I love. This one falls into that weird independent film category that I can’t get enough of, though, like, “But I’m a Cheerleader.” It, I don’t know. I’m not sure how I can defend myself for this one anymore.</p>  <p>I just really enjoy it. </p>  <p>You should all probably hate me now. </p>  <h2 align="center"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000648X1/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B0000648X1&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=screvoicofrea-20">NUMBER 4: Slackers (10%)</a></h2>  <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:4add9a57-e423-4410-9385-57daf337e641" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; width: 448px; margin-right: auto"><div><object width="448" height="252"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kMiUe69TIDI?hl=en&amp;hd=1"/><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kMiUe69TIDI?hl=en&amp;hd=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" height="252"/></object></div></div>    <p>There are a lot of people that might point to this movie as being Jason Segel’s worst film. There are more people that will point to this as being the reason Devon Sawa went on to star in a little known classic “Devil’s Den.” This is also the movie that turned Jason Schwartzman into a running gag for years. BUT, and this is a big but, it was also the last huzzah of one Mike “Big Pete” Maronna. </p>  <p>Aaaaand it has a scene where Laura Prepon is masturbating on a couch. </p>  <p>Look. I’ve seen a lot of shitty movies. I mean, I <em>own</em> &quot;Flight of the Living Dead: Outbreak on a Plane.” THAT MOVIE GOT A FREAKIN’ 86% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES! </p>  <p>HOW THE CRAP CAN ZOMBIES ON A PLANE GET A BETTER ROTTEN TOMATOES SCORE 76 POINTS HIGHER THAN SLACKERS! </p>  <p>WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY! </p>  <p>WHY HAVEN’T WE DROPPED THE DAMN BOMBS YET! </p>  <p>I HATE YOU ALL! </p>  <p>...</p>  <p>...</p>  <p>...</p>  <p>Seriously... This movie is hilarious. Why does everyone I know want to destroy the things I love? </p>  <h2 align="center"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00005JNC2/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B00005JNC2&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=screvoicofrea-20">NUMBER 3: Garden State (86%)</a></h2>  <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:1c23bac7-2986-4e71-847a-0a0798b8d74a" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; width: 448px; margin-right: auto"><div><object width="448" height="252"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/u82n0e1mgmQ?hl=en&amp;hd=1"/><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/u82n0e1mgmQ?hl=en&amp;hd=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" height="252"/></object></div></div>  <p>I love this movie. Let me just throw it out there. It is absolutely amazing, and I’m <em>glad</em> Zach Braff crowd funded the sequel. I can’t wait.&#160; Now, this movie has the highest rating on the list, and when it was in theaters, it got a lot of attention from critics. Then, without warning, it just kind of disappeared. </p>  <p>I think a lot of people went into this moving thinking that they were going to get a Scrubs movie, and in some ways you did, if you cut out all of the medical humor and slapstick. </p>  <p>In the end, you have a really beautiful movie about a guy that is having a hard time dealing with his mother’s death and his own adulthood. </p>  <p>I’m happy that I only have to deal with one of those terrifying images. </p>  <h2 align="center"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000ME5B2G/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B000ME5B2G&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=screvoicofrea-20">NUMBER 2: Accepted (36%)</a></h2>  <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:c1ec830c-6515-4726-8e5f-91a13cb36d8e" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; width: 448px; margin-right: auto"><div><object width="448" height="252"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MZkurgJOP4c?hl=en&amp;hd=1"/><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MZkurgJOP4c?hl=en&amp;hd=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" height="252"/></object></div></div>    <p>WHO GIVES A CRAP IF IT’S REALISTIC!? </p>  <p>Look, no one is going to ever just create their own college, but <em>maybe they should. </em><a href="https://www.khanacademy.org/">Oh, wait, maybe they did</a>. </p>  <p>This movie is clever, witty, and completely kick ass. I love watching Lewis Black rant to 500 college age kids. </p>  <p>Besides, instead of having some shitty lesson about self respect and sex, it has a lesson about coming together to form something better.</p>  <p>So stop being a dick about it, already. </p>  <h2 align="center"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0014D5PO8/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=390957&amp;creativeASIN=B0014D5PO8&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=screvoicofrea-20">NUMBER 1: 100 Girls (60%)</a></h2>  <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:cdd249f5-c9a4-4bb1-9371-e46abfb0aabe" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; width: 448px; margin-right: auto"><div><object width="448" height="252"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ihI3Y21aqOk?hl=en&amp;hd=1"/><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ihI3Y21aqOk?hl=en&amp;hd=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" height="252"/></object></div><div style="width:448px;clear:both;font-size:.8em">WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK. I MEAN AT ALL EVEN A LITTLE.</div></div>    <p>Years and Years and Years ago, my old brother gave me a bunch of free movies that nobody had ever heard of. This movie was one of them. I’ve watched it probably a thousand times since then. It is probably my favorite movie. In a lot of ways, it is a raunchy teen sex film, but in reality, it’s more about one person realizing that there is more to life and love than you can categorize in general stereotypes. </p>  <p>The movie begins with everyone being fairly easy to define in just a couple of words and ends with even some of the minor characters having developed multiple dimensions. </p>  <p>It is a bit sappy. </p>  <p>There is a scene in which he makes a grand romantic gesture that makes every woman instantly fall in love with him.</p>  <p>Everyone but one douche gets a happy ending.</p>  <p>So, yeah, there are problems.</p>  <p>But, it’s the flaws that make the movie such a great film.</p>  <p>Also, the Ska soundtrack. </p>  <p>&#160;</p>  <h2 align="center">BONUS HONORARY MENTION: PCU (47%)</h2>  <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:3b74fabe-48be-448c-977b-049f2a473960" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; width: 448px; margin-right: auto"><div><object width="448" height="252"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/T2Fp61jJcIs?hl=en&amp;hd=1"/><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/T2Fp61jJcIs?hl=en&amp;hd=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" height="252"/></object></div></div>    <p>Okay.</p>  <p>I know this movie is like, 23 years old. </p>  <p>I know that David Spade went on to have a long career playing douchebags.</p>  <p>I cut it from the list because I figured 20+ year old movies don’t really need anyone to defend them unless it’s a knife-fight for the AFI’s Top 100 Something or Other. </p>  <p>But, I’m putting it here for a friend. </p>  <p>Why? Because PCU is an awesome twenty-something movie, even if it is extremely Gen-X. </p>  <p>Also, Jeremy Piven throws meat at vegans. </p>  <p>THAT is always worth a chuckle. 

Published by M.A. Brotherton

M.A. Brotherton is a writer, blogger, artist, and fat-kid from the suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri. He’s tasted a little bit of everything the Midwest has to offer, ranging from meth-tweaking rednecks in massive underground cave complexes to those legendary amber waves of grain. When he’s not writing, he spends most of his time screwing around on the internet.