Sometimes, Everything Sucks #Reverb11

I’m laying in bed, reflecting on the events of the day, and appreciating how far I’ve come in life. It is easy for me to forget sometimes that I have things pretty good. I’m not even talking about comparing myself to the starving kids in Africa or anything like that. Even in my own peer group, I am pretty lucky.

Life is hard. There are so many growing pains that we all go through to move from that blissful ignorance of adolescents into the painful awareness of adulthood. Legally, we are considered an adult when we turn 18. They give us the right to vote, the obligation to make ourselves ready to serve in the military, and send us out into the world. The truth is, there is no exact age when we pass that threshhold.

I think I’ve been pretty lucky in that. My life has been difficult at times, but never as bad as it could have been. I’ve had to learn some lessons the hard way, but for the most part, I was prepared well by my parents for life in the real world. I was given the tools I needed to stand on my own two feet, even if I didn’t always use them.

It can be easy for me to pass judgement and say things like, “You just have to learn,” or “Try harder.” I have advantages that some people don’t. I have a support system. My friends and family have looked out for me, guided me, and given me strength. Some people have never had that.

It baffles me when I hear about a family, especially parents, that lack empathy for their children. I have no frame of reference for what it must be like to grow up in a home where the people that are suppose to care for you, watch out for you, and guide you in life are apathetic about how things turn out.

I can’t imagine a life where my parents decided that they were done being mentors, guides, and shelters in the storm.
I can’t imagine a family that doesn’t look out for each other, no matter what.

There are many things you might be able to say about us, but one thing you will never be able to say is that we are not supportive and loving.

To me, that’s what it means to be part of a family, and it is a big part of what it means to be an adult, and a man.

Look out for each other.

9 thoughts on “Sometimes, Everything Sucks #Reverb11

  1. Jason Benoit says:

    Well said. For sure.

  2. Inkytwig says:

    Unfortunately, I do know what that is like. It sucks. I certainly didn’t have it as bad as many, many others. But the hurt is there. It still hurts. I had to turn my back on one whole side of my family just for peace. Had to be done. I was very blessed though, to have a great Mom, Grandma and two uncles and two – “aunts” who loved me unconditionally as well as a host of friends who always looked out for me, I have been blessed indeed. I think it has made me more cognizant of the type of mom I want to be and the things I do not WANT to do to my own child. It is a learning experience for sure and definitely what we make of it that makes us, ultimately. Yes, we must look out for one another and love one another, indeed. Thanks, Matt.

    1. Family is probably the most important thing we have. I don’t know how people can ignore and forget that.

  3. dominique says:

    indeed. i don’t come from this kind of family – the kind that has any strong ties at all – and it’s so easy to feel unmoored, here as an adult. it’s a big effing world out there. it’s one of my major goals in life to build this kind of family – which is also hard when you don’t really have much precedent to draw from. all of that said, it’s important to do what you’re doing here, and reflect on the things you do have and the ways in which your judgments of others may not be accurate or as sensitive as they should be. i have to do it all of the time myself 🙂

    1. I have to remind myself how lucky I have always been and continue to be. A little bit of perspective can go a long way.

  4. Meredith says:

    This is what I want my kids to say when they grow up. Family’s very important.

    1. If you want your kids to know that family is important, they will. 🙂

  5. ***C*** says:

    Best lesson for me:  “Look out for each other.”  I’m putting this on my mirror.

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