I’ve been wasting a lot of gas lately. I go out just about every night with my dog in the backseat and an audio book pumping through the speakers, just driving around and around lost and directionless. It’s a time for me to be alone inside my head. It’s when I am free from the distractions of my friends and family.
I miss the solitude I once had.
I used to be alone and isolated from the world. I was hidden away inside a spartan seclusion. I hid inside my head, danced through my psyche, and poured it all out in great troughs on the other side.
It was both heaven and hell, and it had to end, for my own survival.
Humans are pack creatures, herd animals, and I am a member of a large herd. I am content and happy in this role.
Still, there are times when the wild calls to me, whispering in my ear to stalk back out on my own and see what I can see. I miss living alone. I miss feeling alone.
I miss solitude, sometimes.
It was sad then, a screaming prison, but now, it’s the only thing that lets me focus.
So, I drive.