If 99% of humanity died horribly in a painful, eye-bleeding virus and left me and a few thousand other people to fend for themselves, I would dance a jig and begin forging my status as North America’s most powerful warlord. Still, as much as I revel in the idea of waking up in a world where at least 2/3s of the human population has been turned into festering, shambling corpses, I no longer spend my time thinking of clever and exciting ways to end humanity on my own. I’ve really grown as a person, I think.
I mean, giggling incoherently to the thought of genocide isn’t the same as contemplating its implementation is it?
I guess I’ve just grown too attached to some of you. It makes me think that maybe I would have a hard time shooting you in the knees and leaving you for the zombie hordes.
Damn conscience, gets in the way of survival every time.
There is a positive side to letting go of large hunks of anger, rage, bitterness and utter, digestible loathing, though. I mean, even Vader abandoned it in favor of not getting to shoot lighting from his hands. There has to be a reason for that.
Hatred is a heavy, awkward burden to bare.
I spent a great deal of time sitting in judgment of everyone and everything around me. Being that self absorbed and haughty is tiring. All that time dedicated to superiority is taxing to the nervous system. You get used to being better than everyone else, eventually, but by the time you do, you’re muscles are all worn out and you’ve got to get a massage and that means being around some incompetent nutsnake that can’t do their damned job even though you paid them $60 and hour to freakin’ do it in the first place. Fucking RIP-OFF ARTISTS!
But I digress…
I was once asked to list what it was I hated so much about the world, and I found it almost impossible to accomplish the task. No, not because I couldn’t think of anything to hate, but because once I began reciting the very long list, it proved impossible to keep track of what I had or had not already hated. So inclusive was my hate list that it often included opposing ideology. Nothing was excluded from the power of my hatred.
Of course, once you are so full of hatred that there isn’t anything left to hate, you realize the truth of it all.
When you’ve hated everything else in the universe, the only thing left for you to hate is yourself.
And damn it, I’m way to awesome for that.
This Post has been part of the Scintilla Project, a Fortnight of Stories.