Green Lantern + Bathtub Wine = Broken Router?

After what can only be described as the most boring and terrible day of work ever on Friday, I really needed a break to recharge the battery this weekend. The plan was in place to do that as myself and @Yeti_Detective had made a plan to go and see Green Lantern on Saturday afternoon. It was set up to be a weekend of unwinding and relaxation. We all need those every now and then.

Hillbilly Wine Drinking

I’m fully a city boy. I’m willing to admit that at this point in my life. I know that alienates me from a lot of what my family does, but I’ve come to accept my own shortcomings. Friday night, however, I discovered one country tradition that I think I can get behind: Drinking home made wine from the bottle on the back of a car.

My roommate and one of our friends make their own wine. It’s a thing they like to do and it’s freaking delicious. With the weather being probably the most absolutely perfect and beautiful I’ve ever seen it in Missouri, we spent Friday evening chillin’ and relaxing outside on the driveway watching as the RedneckWitchDR necro’d an old broken lawnmower engine back into a functional thing. That’s right, Zombie Lawnmower.

To celebrate the glorious victory, he popped open a bottle of that wonderful wine, and we spent the evening lounging about and hitting it straight from the bottle. Sometime around the second bottle of wine, we even thought to order pizza and gratuitously tip they guy. Apparently I’m quite the generous drunk. A grand time was had by all, even my father, who joined us for most of the evening via my cellphone, at least until there was mention of a donkey show. Some things are just too out there for my old man, as hip as he is.

I don’t drink very often at all anymore. There was a time when I was a bit of a lush, but these days it’s pretty rare that I have any alcohol at all, but there was something about just sitting around with some good friends and enjoying the evening that left me feeling pumped up and warm inside. It was a good start to the weekend of recharging that I very desperately needed.

The Morning we thought the World Ended

Miraculously, despite the fairly high state of inebriation that all of us reached the night before, none of us woke up with hangovers. This was probably the sign of the apocalypse that we were always afraid of, because we awoke to the most horrifying news this particular geek can ever experience…

Our internet wasn’t working.

At some point in the night, my $12 router decided that it had enough of trying to support no less than a dozen different devices draining it of the wonderful internet juice it held inside and went poof. You can imagine the reactions from a household of people that religiously carry the internet on them at almost all times. It was PANDEMONIUM!

One quick trip to Microcenter (and the leather store nearby) later, and we thought everything would be wonderful forever, so we came back, dropped off the router and beat feet to make it on time to see our movie.

After our film, we came home to discover that the new router wasn’t working properly. It was a great source of heart ache, anger, and depression. We tried quite a few things to make it work, including a 2 hour long phone call to the stupid tech support center in freakin’ India, and attempting to distract the router from its refusal to work with the John Hughes classic, Pretty in Pink. Nothing seemed to work. Dejected and thinking we’d have to return it and get a new one, we all slunk off to bed.

Sunday Miracles

I’m going to share a little secret with all of you now. I’m not better with computers than any of my friends because I have skills and knowledge that they do not. I have a super power that I do not fully understand or control.

I can touch things and make them work.

That’s right. I do IT for my company, and I have absolutely no idea how I fix 99% of the things I do. They just work for me when I tell them to. So, Sunday morning I climbed out of bed, walked into my office and said, “Work, damn you,” … … … and it did.

I am coming to the conclusion that I’m going to need to get some sort of costume and travel the country as a superhero, Captain Computer-Fixer-Guy… or something cooler.

That little boost of ego seemed to burn out all of the horrible anxiety that not having the internet left me riding. Now, I’m ready to face the world again, my brain recharged and ready to rock.

What will this week bring?

Who knows!? All I know is that if I can get through the next five days, then I get to have a 3 day weekend, complete with celebrating my country by blowing up a small hunk of it. What I do know is that weekends are way better when you don’t sit on the couch marathon watching televisions shows on Netflix and playing Zuma Blitz.

That’s a life lesson I never thought I’d learn.

Tags: Appreciation, Friends, green lantern, hillbilly, home made wine, necro