Blog, Deep Archives, Doodles

My Readers might Be Evil Wizards… or Clinically Insane. #YouFoundMeHow

I’m not sure I want to know what it says about me that so many of the search terms that lead people to find MABrotherton.Com can only be described as “somewhat disturbing.” I don’t think I have to worry too much about my own danger to society. I feel that my insanity is well documented and borders more on the “Delusions of Grandeur,” and less on the “murdering puppies for fun and profit” side of things. Still, I’m beginning to think that maybe there was something to that whole, “Most likely to be Worshipped by a Cult” award I got in High School.

What I’m saying here is that I think babbling sociopaths might be finding deep, unsettling meaning in my incoherent ravings.

That’s pretty Cool.

top5

The Top 5 Keywords for April 2012

We’ll start off with the 5 most commonly used keywords to find my site in April. I think they reflect the springtime nature of April pretty well, too. I should probably admit that I cut out the term “mabrotherton” from the list, and trimmed out variations of some terms because they were basically replicants, and we always have to be ready to Bladerunner up in here.

#1 – “Lawn Mowing Headphones”

Lawn-Mowing-Headphones

<p>It’s getting hot out there, SO HOT, so go out and cut the grass.</p>  <p>I’ve become the central hub in the search for the perfect set of lawn mowing headphones.</p>  <p>I am okay with this. </p>  <p><a href="http://mabrotherton.com/lawn-mowing-headphones/" target="_blank">I’ve even written about the problem with most normal headphones</a>.</p>  <p>It is now April, and the lawn mowing has commenced.</p>  <p>If you, like me, think mowing sucks, try listening to a good book on your mp3 player to make it suck less.</p>  <p>Late last year, <a href="http://mabrotherton.com/lawn-mowing-headphones-found/" target="_blank">I found the right headphones for it</a>. </p>  <p>&#160;</p>  <h3>#2 - “100 Drawing Challenge”</h3>  <p><a href="http://mabrotherton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/100-Drawing-Challenge.png"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 7px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="100-Drawing-Challenge" border="0" alt="100-Drawing-Challenge" align="right" src="http://mabrotherton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/top5_thumb.png" width="550" height="163" /></a></p>  <p>I finished it. </p>  <p>All 100 Drawings.</p>  <p>You guys should go and check them out.</p>  <p>Enjoy my epic doodling. There is humor, wit and charm combined with a giant, unhealthy spattering of pure, unadulterated emo. </p>  <p>Also, a lot of pictures making fun of the fact that I’m fat and lazy.</p>  <p>I like making fun of myself. It’s honesty in art.    <br clear="all" /></p>  <h3>#3 - “Goals Before 30”</h3>  <p><a href="http://mabrotherton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Goals-Before-30.png"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 7px 15px 7px 7px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: left; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Goals-Before-30" border="0" alt="Goals-Before-30" align="left" src="http://mabrotherton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/top5_thumb.png" width="550" height="163" /></a></p>  <p>I’m not doing to well in my 30-before-30 list. </p>  <p>I’m just too damned poor and lazy to do anything awesome.</p>  <p>Also, it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be to do some of the cool things I want to do. Not to say I won’t get them done, but I’m starting to doubt I’m going to get them done before I turn 30.</p>  <p>I have come to terms with this for now, but I can’t say that I won’t start a mad dash to get stuff done come September when I turn 29.</p>  <br clear="all" />  <h3>#4 - “Suzanne Collins”</h3>  <p><a href="http://mabrotherton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Suzanne-Collins.png"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 7px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Suzanne-Collins" border="0" alt="Suzanne-Collins" align="right" src="http://mabrotherton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/top5_thumb.png" width="550" height="163" /></a></p>  <p>You guys like the Hunger Games.</p>  <p>I wrote a review about the Trilogy.</p>  <p>It wasn’t very detailed.</p>  <p>Still, it gets read a lot because the Hunger Games is the New Twilight, which was the new Harry Potter. </p>  <p>This leads me to believe in a a Mega-Hit book cycle, and discourages me from trying to hard to be the next guy in the line. Not because I don’t want to be, but because apparently the next step in the cycle is a shitty super natural romance book.</p>  <p>Like VC Andrews. (Sparkly Vampires are the new Incest)</p>  <p>   <br clear="all" /></p>  <h3>#5 - “Fat Kid Jokes”</h3>  <p><a href="http://mabrotherton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Fat-Kid-Jokes.png"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 7px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Fat-Kid-Jokes" border="0" alt="Fat-Kid-Jokes" src="http://mabrotherton.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/top5_thumb.png" width="550" height="163" /></a>    <br clear="all" />I feel that this is self explanatory. </p>  <hr />  <h2>The Top 5 Keywords the Indicate my Audience is Mostly Likely a group of Serial Killers</h2>  <p>I’m not going to justify these with fresh doodles. I am actually a little afraid that maybe I’m spawning an entire army of crazy people out there already, and I don’t want to encourage that… or do I.</p>  <p>VOTE FOR ME, EARTH’S GOD-KING AND EMPEROR 2013</p>  <p>#1 - “Emo Hanging Sketch” - Based on my own preliminary Google search for this, I am deeply troubled by the idea that you guys want to see so many dead emo-kids. On the other hand, I think it’s probably emo kids doing the searching, because they inevitably click on <a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&amp;hl=en&amp;safe=off&amp;sa=N&amp;rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS469US469&amp;biw=1280&amp;bih=899&amp;tbm=isch&amp;tbnid=t9rigGsI3x3gTM:&amp;imgrefurl=http://mabrotherton.com/doodleday-im-not-an-artist-but-i-play-one-on-the-internet/&amp;docid=N7uvrzsmRG_mXM&amp;imgurl=http://mabrotherton.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/IMAG0024.jpg&amp;w=460&amp;h=768&amp;ei=U8WeT-z7BIfM2gXj9LDmDg&amp;zoom=1&amp;iact=hc&amp;vpx=889&amp;vpy=71&amp;dur=827&amp;hovh=290&amp;hovw=174&amp;tx=106&amp;ty=158&amp;sig=100777453014189847682&amp;page=1&amp;tbnh=171&amp;tbnw=104&amp;start=0&amp;ndsp=24&amp;ved=1t:429,r:16,s:0,i:104" target="_blank">this picture</a>. </p>  <p>#2 - “What can you mix merlot” - Answer: Nothing. Don’t drink Merlot. Only bad people drink merlot, and they only do it because it refills their reserves of pure, concentrated evil. Also, it tastes like stupidity. DO NOT DRINK MERLOT.</p>  <p>#3 - “Writing all over pants with shapries” - Did you guys know that “Sharpie Tattoos” are a thing now? They totally are. I draw a lot with a sharpie, so if any sex ladies want me to draw on them, send me an <a href="mailto:mbrotherton@gmail.com" target="_blank">email</a>. </p>  <p>#4 - “How to place brain implants for depression” - There is something either awesome or messed up about Canada. For starters, they’re putting electrodes in people’s brains because they are sad, <a href="http://www.canada.com/montrealgazette/news/story.html?id=fec7cf3f-edc0-4be5-ba81-e2c525dceb80" target="_blank">but it is also working</a>. I don’t think it’s the type of thing that should become DIY, though. On the other hand, the type of person that would try that at home probably shouldn’t be part of the gene pool anymore, so go for it.</p>  <p>#5 - “Rants of an Obviously Insane Person” - Never before have I found a keyword that so perfectly describes MABrotherton.Com… I love you, crazy bastard looking for other crazy bastards. You should have my babies. </p>  <hr />  <h1>GUEST POSTS UPDATE! </h1>  <p>Since I’ve only gotten one response to my guest post request, I guess I’ll just run it later this week and forget about having any time to myself. </p>  <p>&#160;</p>  <p>You damned dirty apes!</p>  <p>&#160;</p>  <p>Thanks to Sara, who not only wrote a great guest post for me, she did it while battling cancer.</p>  <p>&#160;</p>  <p>Yeah, how do you feel now? </p>  <p>&#160;</p>  <p>Also: Safety Dance. 

Published by M.A. Brotherton

M.A. Brotherton is a writer, blogger, artist, and fat-kid from the suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri. He’s tasted a little bit of everything the Midwest has to offer, ranging from meth-tweaking rednecks in massive underground cave complexes to those legendary amber waves of grain. When he’s not writing, he spends most of his time screwing around on the internet.