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Every Job Sucks, but these 5 Suck less

Working Sucks.

Hold All My Calls
photo credit: Furryscaly

That’s probably not the most original or creative thought in the world, but it’s something that needs to be said more often. My high school guidance councilor (and every Be-you-own-boss-work-from-home scam on the internet) used to say things like, “If it’s fun, it’s not work.” I wonder how many problems I would have avoided in life if my early advisors had given me more than fortune cookie level advice. Probably not much farther than I have now. We all know that jobs suck, and if you work really hard and are really lucky, you can stumble into the one thing you are perfect for and be happy forever.

I’m not buying it.  The two jobs I’ve had in my life that I’ve enjoyed the most have both eventually driven me insane, and I enjoyed them at the beginning. I don’t think there is any one career out there I would be content with forever. What I have started doing, and found that it keeps me from going insane and quitting my job, is following the High Fidelity advice. If you have a Top 5 Dream Jobs list, put your current job as number 5. Obviously you’ve chosen it over everything else that was available to you. You have to appreciate what you have.

Top 5 Dream Jobs

1) Billionaire Playboy – Ok. I think this should probably go on the top of everyone’s list of dream jobs. It’s basically saying, “Guy that does whatever he feels like doing.” Also, unless you actually have some form of superpower, its a pre-requisite to the greatest hobby ever; being batman.

2)Darren Brown – I’m not sure if just being Darren Brown is an actual job, or if there is some other word for what he does, but I want his ability to convince just about anyone of just about anything. The first time I saw on Mind Control, I knew that I wanted to master his particular form of mesmerism. Then I found out it takes years of practice and study. I think convincing people that blank sheets of paper are money is probably a skill that’s worth training. Also, it might come in handy if you wanted to do something awesome, like fight crime.

3) Private Consulting Detective for Interpol – I’ve never really wanted to be a cop or anything like that, but I have a annoying habit of  solving most mystery shows in about 10 minutes, and find that I’m generally more observant than most people. Really, it would be awesome to just walk in and solve a crime that a bunch of highly trained specialists haven’t been able to figure out. Doing that for Interpol gives me the benefit of doing it all over the world, and I’d get to live in France. Who doesn’t want to live in France?

4) Actual, Legit Writer – I write. One day I hope to get paid for it. Some day after that, I’d like to become famous enough that I get to be the guest on Conan that no one has ever heard of before. Mostly I just want to be able to lay on the love seat, stare off into space while my fingers dance on the keyboard, and then get paid for it. I just have to figure out how to get that to work out for me now.

5) What I actually do now- My job isn’t horrible. It’s not exactly an exciting thrill ride, but it’s stable and pays me pretty well. It would be nice if I didn’t have to spend so much time being patronized by my boss or shouted at by customers, but I’m pretty sure that is what they pay me for. The only downside to my job is that I worry that I have too much slack. We’re starting to get busier again, though, so this might not be a problem much longer.

So, what jobs are on you’re top 5?

Published by M.A. Brotherton

M.A. Brotherton is a writer, blogger, artist, and fat-kid from the suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri. He’s tasted a little bit of everything the Midwest has to offer, ranging from meth-tweaking rednecks in massive underground cave complexes to those legendary amber waves of grain. When he’s not writing, he spends most of his time screwing around on the internet.

8 thoughts on “Every Job Sucks, but these 5 Suck less”

  1. Stereo.* says:

    God, I feel like I could have written this post. The one job I loved without question was all too brief and I mourn its passing every single day I wake up and have to come here, my current job…which gives me enough monies to buy DVDs but which I essentially dislike.

    Number 4 on your list is all I’ve ever wanted. One day, right?

    1. M.A. Brotherton says:

      Yeah, of actual jobs that I feel like I am capable of doing in reality, #4 is the one I want the most. Of course, if #4 leads to #1… that’d be okay, too.

      1. creativevoyage says:

        sorry this is a bit off topic but my grandfather was a Brotherton a name from Lincolnshire – I wonder if we are related if distantly!

        1. M.A. Brotherton says:

          There is a strong possibility. From what I know about my family history, we come from that part of the world and are EXTREMELY promiscuous. I just assume I’m related to everyone I meet in some way.

          1. creativevoyage says:

            strictly speaking I suppose we all are if distantly !

  2. Amanda Hirsch says:

    1. Paid actress
    2. Yoga teacher
    3. Paid writer
    4. Owner, vegetarian cafe
    5. Digital media strategist

    (Note, #s 1-3 are in no particular order. If I could support my lifestyle getting paid to act, write or teach/practice yoga, I would be blissful… and could continue doing the other two as acts of love.)

    I love your comment re: the terrible advice from guidance counselors. “If it’s fun it’s not a job” — bullshit. What a pessimistic outlook, and way to crush the innate hopefulness and even cockiness of young people… because it takes a mix of hope and balls (forgive my language) to go out there and do what you want to do, and find a way to make it work.

    How about, instead, changing our education system to teach people how to figure out what they want to do, and how to be resourceful and creative and proactive, and make things happen for themselves?

    Stepping off soapbox…

    1. M.A. Brotherton says:

      The entire idea of “finding what you want to do” is just crazy to me. Maybe this is the ADD talking, but I get bored with one job after a while. The only reason I’ve found any stability at all in the work place is out of necessity.

      It almost seems insane to me that we’re expected to know what we want to do with our lives at 18 in the first place. If I had stuck to my biggest ambition when I was 18, I probably would have died of liver failure, alone… on a soiled mattress. Ah… Teenager’s dreams.

    2. BrianneVillano says:

      I wholeheartedly agree with your last full paragraph.

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