Blog, Journal

I’m Giving Myself a Not-So-Gritty Reboot

When I moved to Montana, I told myself I would be gone for five years. I was going to get my life stable, my finances secured, and build an online media empire to make me insanely wealthy. Then, I’d move back home and live as a king among the peasants of Missouri.

That was four years ago.

I’m more stable now and each month brings me closer to financial security. But, I’m not exactly leading a robot army toward digital world domination. I don’t even know how to build a robot.

I have one year left in my original timeline. I’m still holding out hope.

I didn’t waste the last four years. I’ve spent them learning, evolving, and maturing. I’ve developed new skills and embraced old skills in new ways. Doors opened. I stepped through.

The most important lesson is accepting the wisdom of the past without blindly following the way things have always been done. It’s learning from the people who came before you but still challenging everything.

A New Way of Seeing The World

I get angry with myself almost as often as I get angry with the world. I can’t count how often I’ve referred to myself as “the poster boy for wasted potential.”

I sit on a pile of failed projects and shattered dreams because I lack grit.

Grit is courage and resolve. Grit is determination. Grit is an ability to stay the course until you succeed.

I don’t have it in me.

My father says it is a family curse. Brothertons are a talented, creative lot with no ambition. We are hardworking and good at what we do, but we have no aspirations to grow beyond a comfortable and content life.

That isn’t a negative judgement.

I could just as easily say we’ve got deep roots and a family culture built around finding joy in simplicity and valuing family and friends. We are thankful for what we have and know when it is enough. We put love before money and power. It’s admirable.

But, I’m also a bad Brotherton.

I have ambition. I have a hard time finding satisfaction in the little things.

I want the world to hear my name and tremble in terror… or at least say it in the same tone they use for Elon Musk. I’d settle for being a historic footnote like William Henry Harrison.

And yet, I still can’t focus.

I thought something was wrong with me. I am doomed to the inept frustration of impotence raging against the desire to be something greater.

Then, I learned a new word: multipotentialite.

Infinite Possibilities in Infinite Combinations

According to one branch of psychology, there are two types of people in the world, specialists and multipotentialites.

A specialist is someone with a singular field of interest. If you’ve ever met someone who knew exactly what they wanted to be at age 5, then spent the rest of their life being that thing, you’ve known a specialist.

 

multipotentialite is someone with hobby ADD.  They can dive into an interest as powerfully as a specialist… until they get bored and move on to the next one.

 

I am a multipotentialite trying to live by a specialist’s rules. It’s why I get burned out. It’s why I disappear into Netflix and chicken wings.

I can’t keep doing it.

Creating My Own Rules

I’m writing this on July 1 for a reason. July is special. It is the second half of a calendar year which makes it a great month to start a fiscal year.

I’m doing something similar. I’m using July 1 to get a second New Year’s resolution. Call it a biannual resolution.

For the next six months, I’m going to explore everything that can hold my interest. I’m going to learn new skills, adopt new abilities, and assimilate everything I can into my awesomeness. 

And then, I’m going to find a way to get paid for it. 

My father left a comment on yesterday’s blog post. It reads:

Can hardly wait to see what exciting things are afoot. One thing we know about you, whatever it is, you will either be in or all out.

He’s right.

I don’t know for sure everything I’m going to do in the next six months. I don’t know if any of it will even make sense.

But, I do know I will throw myself 100% into everything I do until I don’t want to do it anymore. Then, I’ll move on to the next thing. And the next. And the next.

Because I have a super power and it is time for me to use it.

What about all the open boxes?

I might not ever get back to any of my old projects.

I don’t know if I’ll ever write another Seven Keys book or post another doodle. I don’t know if I’ll put together another Fat Guy Friday post or save the world through witty political observations.

I’m sorry if any one of those things was your reason for being on this blog.

But, I can’t keep trying to force myself into one thing. I can’t try to have a theme or a single topic schedule.

There will be chaos and inconsistency in my posts. But, I won’t need to edit them to fit any one idea anymore.

From henceforth, consider MABrotherton.com to be my public journal–a log of my exploits and adventures, if you will.

No reason to censor. No reason to hold back. No reason to be anything other than pure and honest.

Oh, and it gives me a place to experiment with whatever I’m up to at the moment.

No matter what, you’ll read about it here.

Published by M.A. Brotherton

M.A. Brotherton is a writer, blogger, artist, and fat-kid from the suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri. He’s tasted a little bit of everything the Midwest has to offer, ranging from meth-tweaking rednecks in massive underground cave complexes to those legendary amber waves of grain. When he’s not writing, he spends most of his time screwing around on the internet.

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