Blog, Journal, On Writing

I did something awesome

Today, I did something I truly enjoyed. I helped someone with a story.

It wasn’t a perfect experience. I was hyper and jumping all over the place in my mind. I asked questions and got answers. I offered advice and encouragement. I didn’t actually create something, but I helped someone else develop their own creation, at least helped someone begin the process of laying the foundation.

It was exhilarating.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve been stuck for a long time with my own writing. There are a lot of reasons why, but the big one was a lack of passion. It was a sense of frazzled nerves and charred imagination. It was burn out, plain and simple.

And it was a lot of excuses.

But, in a simple act of devoting my time to helping someone else create. The simple joy of helping someone else build a foundation of their story, their world, I remembered how much fun it can be to create something new and different.

I didn’t feel like my brain was burned anymore. I felt like it was on fire.

You could probably argue that it was the six Monster Absolute Zeros I drank today (they are 3 for $5.50, so it makes sense to buy three, right?) You could argue that it was a new environment. Creatives do tend to feed on one another. You could argue that it was a lot of things.

But, I think it was the joy of awakening something in someone else. It was a simple truth that I have learned and continue to learn. I applied things I knew to a situation and it made sense and flowed.

One of the biggest emotional hurdles for a writer is the fear you’re not good enough for the next story.

One of my biggest emotional hurdles is the nagging suspicion that I am not as good at things as others think I am. I often doubt my own skills because I don’t think they are unique. I don’t think they are special. I don’t think they mean much in the grand scheme of things.

Today, I got to use skills and knowledge floating around inside my head to help someone else.

I got to do something great.

I also got to prove to myself that I do know these things. I have some skills. I have some abilities.

There is still a long journey ahead of me. I hope I will never stop growing and learning, but, I need to remind myself that I’ve come a long way. I have learned a lot. I know some things. I have some skills.

Maybe I am not where I think I should be, but I am I much farther down the road than I think I am. I am better than I think I am.

I bet you are as well.

Published by M.A. Brotherton

M.A. Brotherton is a writer, blogger, artist, and fat-kid from the suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri. He’s tasted a little bit of everything the Midwest has to offer, ranging from meth-tweaking rednecks in massive underground cave complexes to those legendary amber waves of grain. When he’s not writing, he spends most of his time screwing around on the internet.