Free Time is Precious

There are times when it feels like I am working two full time jobs. I spend my Monday through Fridays, 8 AM to 4:30 PM locked away inside a cubicle, creating reports and entering orders and things. Things that I do for other people. Then I come home, and I spend my evenings creating something for me. I spend hours reading, studying and writing. I do it because I love doing it.

My weekends are filled with the desire to devour life in the best ways I know how. I’m not particularly good at it yet, but I do try to get outside of my shell and go out into the world and have adventures. I do it because if I never have any experiences with living, how am I going to be able to write about life? I do it because if I don’t, I feel empty and incomplete.

I don’t really allow myself to have any downtime. It helps me avoid the sinking depression that waits around the corners of my mind.

Or Rather, it used to.

I’ve begun to see my life a little differently recently. I have managed to keep myself running for so long now that I am beginning to get tired. There is no moment of depression waiting for me anymore. When I can relax, when I can take that time for myself. I enjoy it. I’ve learned that it truly is part of the process of living. It is another experience that we all need to know, to appreciate.

Relax and Enjoy Today

I spent a great deal of time with my little brother Saturday just out in the world taking Randoms 033pictures. We drove out to the little town my parents are from and took some shots of the little park we used to play at when we would go there to visit family. We went to the main street and took some pictures of old buildings. We talked, hanging out and just enjoying a mutual hobby.

At the end of the day, as evening approached and we were entering “Golden Time,” my little brother took me to his secret place in Kansas City. It’s a hidden gem, a little known conversation area not 5 minutes away from my house, and only about 2 minutes away from my work.

There were people there, so we went on down the road farther than he had gone before and found a little lake that was just about as amazingly beautiful as you can ever imagine. I think it was the absolute best place I’d been to in a long time, and I was at Yellowstone a month ago.

I took some pretty awesome pictures, and I just felt comfortable and relaxed. It was great.

So take some time today to just relax and enjoy life. It’ll catch up again soon enough. I’ll even let you have some of my pictures for inspiration.

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The Sun Setting over the Little Lake

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I couldn’t help but think this tree looked like the one that Elijah Wood is leaning against at the beginning of Fellowship of the Ring

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The leaves are just now starting to change colors here in Missouri, but even as early in the year as it is, you can already see how amazingly beautiful things are going to get.

4 thoughts on “Free Time is Precious

  1. Stereo.* says:

    Damn right free time is precious. And trust me, I know how you feel when you say it feels like you’re working two full time jobs. I have my day job, my writing and then my landlady duties but I do make sure that at weekends, I delve into my own little world of rest and vegetation. This weekend was no exception.

    And I see you’re getting fancy with your new camera. How are you liking it?

    1. I love my camera. This weekend was the first time I went out into the world with absolutely no purpose but to take pictures, and it was fantastic!

  2. Do you know how great this post was to read?  You have really travelled a long way, my friend.  You’ve figured out the key to keeping the wolves of depression at bay, and it’s a joy to watch.  It’s terrible to watch a friend struggle with depression, especially from afar.  Life’s not perfect, but it IS precious.  I love that you are discovering yourself and spending more time doing things that you are really good at…drawing, writing and now photography!  How great is it that you get to spend time with your brother?  I don’t see my brothers often, so I know how special it is.

    1. It’s funny, because my brother lives within walking distance of my house, but we don’t hang out nearly as often as either of us would like. He’s my younger brother, so he’s the one that is only a couple of years younger, and we were pretty close growing up.

      Alas, in high school I was a geeky nerd and he was a burgeoning rock star, and we drifted apart a bit. At least he never abandoned his geek family roots. He left here the other night to go home and play Final Fantasy X on his computer.

      You can’t completely beat your roots.

      And thank you, for your support. It’s been a long year for me, but I’ve come a long ways thanks to the people I’ve met through Reverb.

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