My Fellow Fat Guys: We need to talk about pants

Gentlemen,

You don’t want to hear it, but it needs saying:

Your waist is at your navel, not below your gut.

I know. It’s hard. Modern leg coverings are built for lesser physiques, not our abundant majesty. We can’t buy clothes from a big box store and expect them to sit on our bodies.

Belts slip. Pants fall down. People laugh.

We have enough problems with the world seeing us as clowns. We don’t want to give them any more reasons.

So, we make a compromise. We buy pants that fit under our gut where we can cinch them down and keep them from falling off. It feels more natural and more comfortable because we can buy clothes in sizes sold at stores.

But what is the real cost?

I was one of you. Most of my life, I wore my pants below my girth, cinched in tight with a belt.

But, no more.

A few years ago, I went to a Big & Tall clothing store and bought pants that fit me at my waist.

It was a life changing experience.

Combined with the switch to suspenders from a belt, it was the greatest thing I’ve ever done for the lower half of my body.

I’m more comfortable and I never have to worry if the bottom of my stomach or the top of my ass crack are peeking out.

And I look a hell of a lot better.

The pants I bought back then were stupid expensive, but I’m a thrifty shopper with internet access now. I could even buy pants from Walmart if I wanted to.

So, my fellow fat guys, do yourself a favor and buy pants to wear on your actual waist.

I promise, once you tuck your gut, you’ll never want to go back.

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