They way you dress makes me smile

“When I see the way you dress, it makes me smile.”

A coworker stopped me in the hall today.

She told me that the way I dress makes her smile. I always look nice and that the way I dress is my own. When she sees others wearing similar clothes, she thinks to herself, “Oh, he’s dressed like Matt.”

It was a new experience for me.

I’ve been the slovenly fat guy my entire life. I’m not handsome. I’m fat and balding.

For years, I avoided having my picture taken. Mirrors, too. 

I didn’t like what I saw when I looked at them. I didn’t like looking at myself.

No. That isn’t strong enough.

I hated looking at myself.

I told myself, “When I lose weight.”

But, the last few months have been different.

For 30 years the entire world has told me I am aesthetically unpleasing. The fat guy doesn’t look good. He is the funny loser or the hopeless nerd. 

He’s the sidekick, not the hero.

Today, I didn’t feel that way.

Today, I felt like the hero.

4 thoughts on “They way you dress makes me smile

  1. Another well penned piece. I applaud you for not letting the outside you corrupt the inside you. You have chosen to let the inside you dictate who the outside you will be.

    1. It is a work in progress. But, I think I’m making headway.

  2. AH says:

    I feel like this all the time. I feel fat and ugly. I feel when people look at me they see me as worthless and lazy. I wasn’t always fat but something happened as I grew into my teenage years. People scoff when I say “no, I really don’t eat all that much.” It can be very depressing. I hate mirrors and pictures of myself.

    1. The world goes out of its way to make us feel this way. My goal is to find a way to prove it wrong. For myself and others.

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