The Tooth Fairy
It is a little known fact that the Tooth Fairy (fey dentia) is actually a bone eating monster of deadly proportions. The only reason they collect teeth is because a few centuries back they learned that it was much easier to leave behind useless chunks of metal in exchange for free food than to actually go out and hunt it down themselves.
Yep, that’s the tooth fairy story I’m going to tell my kids one day. I figure that way I can convince them to leave their teeth out on their desk instead of under their pillow, you know, farther away from the teeth they still have in case she gets hungry.
It’ll make it easier for me to replace it with money that way. I’m deviously diabolical like that.
Why, no, I don’t worry about giving kids nightmares.
Laundry Day is a very dangerous day. Yeah, I love Rocko’s Modern Life.
Have you ever noticed that even though you only have like 3 changes of clothes that you wear, there is always a giant pile of laundry? I don’t know where it all comes from. I don’t even own 4 pairs of jeans, but come laundry day there is at least six loads of them that need to be washed.
I’m convinced that all of those missing socks get transmogrified into a million different articles of dirty clothes that pile up in my laundry basket. Then, somehow when I do wash my laundry, those articles of clothing go back to their owners as lost socks, so only my small pile of clothes come back out.