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I am a Google Fanboy

I’ll admit it, I’m madly in love with Google to level that someone might consider having me hospitalized. This doesn’t change that I reserve the right to ironically badmouth Steve Jobs or fans of Apple Products in general, only now I admit that I deserve ridicule as well for my mindless devotion to Google as my corporate master. I have so much devotional fanboy in me, that even though I know that Google is probably the most evil corporation on the planet, I’m still salivating at the chance to try anything new they throw at me.

It’s even enough to make me thinking about moving to the Kansas Side, and that’s were the keep the Kansans…

I’m addicted to Google

It started out relatively innocent enough, with a free email account. Gmail offered me an online email account that didn’t have all the stupid ass problems of Hotmail or Yahoo mail, and I jumped on it the first chance I got. Back then, you even needed an invitation code to get in, and I was ecstatic when I got mine. I didn’t realize it at the time, but Gmail is a gateway drug, and before you know it, you’re swimming in a sea of both incredibly useful and diabolically evil applications.

Google Probably knows Everything About Me

It doesn’t take long for you to move from Gmail to Google Docs, which is like having Microsoft Office on the Internet. Once they have you there, they’ve got you sucked into the cloud, and there isn’t anything you can do to recover from that.

The “Cloud” is a buzzword that computer people use to convince you it’s okay for you to put all of your personal information in their hands.

There are two ways of looking at cloud computing:

1) Convenience. If you’re like me, then you have multiple computers that you work on, and having things available to you just about everywhere (including on your cell phone) means that you don’t have to carry things that old people call “disks” with you everywhere you go. I give that two thumbs up.

2) What it Really Is. Basically, you’re putting your data purposely on someone else’s computer. Now, color me a fatalist, but really, if we’ve learned anything from Sony, it’s that we can’t trust giant companies with our information, because it will be stolen. Of course, you might be saying, who wants to steal my information? Well, probably no one, and that’s what makes you fairly safe. You’re boring, and no one cares about your kitty picture collection.

At least that’s what I tell myself…

The Convenience is Worth the Risk

It’s too late for me, though. I happily brand myself as a Google-man, and I drink their Kool-Aide pretty regularly. I read my favorite blogs on Google Reader, I get my news from my iGoogle homepage, and I entertain myself by watching silly videos on YouTube. Even my phone runs Google’s Android Operating Sytem, and I’m typing this up on my Google Chrome Browser. I’ve almost given up on waiting for Chrome OS with held breath, but I’m not giving up on it.

Of course, I’m also a huge fan of Open Source software in general, and most of what Google does is at least open source on the surface. Of course if you dig a bit deeper, you’ll learn they’re secretly taking pictures of you outside your house in a scary little van, but hey, that’s the price we pay to live in the future, right?

Published by M.A. Brotherton

M.A. Brotherton is a writer, blogger, artist, and fat-kid from the suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri. He’s tasted a little bit of everything the Midwest has to offer, ranging from meth-tweaking rednecks in massive underground cave complexes to those legendary amber waves of grain. When he’s not writing, he spends most of his time screwing around on the internet.

2 thoughts on “I am a Google Fanboy”

  1. Stereo.* says:

    Yeah, my friend, Google pretty much owns that ass. But I completely understand why. It is pretty addictive and everything they do is so easy and shiny and helpful. Google Reader and Gchat are massive parts of my life. I can’t even bring myself to feel any shame about this.

    1. M.A. Brotherton says:

      My only shame comes from the hypocritical fervor with which I am anti-apple and the years I spent mocking fanboys with open disdain. Now I see the error of my ways and I will try to do better in the future.

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