Blog, Journal

Cook Along with a Professional Adult: Tuna & Noodles

Good Evening, Internet,

As you may know, I am trying my best to take on the roles and responsibilities of a real adult. Since that means having the ability to be responsible for myself and others, I thought I would share an important stage in my personal adulthood development–learning to cook.

Tonight, I’m going to be cooking a Brotherton Family staple, Tuna & Noodles. (We call it tuna casserole around here, but my Mom pointed out it isn’t actually a casserole and I shouldn’t confuse the internet.)

We ate this quite a bit growing up, and as you can see, it is pretty simple, cheap, and can feed the small army my parents lovingly raised.

Enjoy.

Cook Along: Tuna & Noodles

(Our regularly scheduled blog posts will be back on Thursday)

For this project you will need:

Ingredients
[/media-credit] Not pictured: Peas. I like peas, but since I’m making my tuna stuff for my mom, and she hates peas, no peas. 🙁 Poor peas….
[ezcol_1half]

  • Noodles
  • Evaporated Milk
  • Cream of Mushroom Soup

[/ezcol_1half] [ezcol_1half_end]

  • Tuna
  • Fake Cheese
  • Peas (Optional)

[/ezcol_1half_end]

You will also need a knife, a pot, a stove, and water.

Step One: Put Water in a Pot

Seriously, this is basic. So easy even a yeti can do it.

0823151745
[/media-credit] If you do not have a stove, water, or pot, this recipe is going to be very crunchy.

Step Two: Add Heat to the Water Until It Boils

If you're falling behind at this point, there is no help for you. Order pizza.
[/media-credit] If you’re falling behind at this point, there is no help for you. Order pizza.

Step Three: Pour in the Noodles

One question you might be asking is, “How do I know when I have enough noodle?”

The easy answer is: YOU NEVER HAVE ENOUGH NOODLES!

Pro Tip: If you buy a bag of noodles, you can just use the whole bag! How nice is that. Alternative noodle types include: Bowtie, Elbow, Shells, and of course, Tubey!
[/media-credit] Pro Tip: If you buy a bag of noodles, you can just use the whole bag! How nice is that. Alternative noodle types include Bowtie, Elbow, Shells, and of course, Tubes!

Step Four: Cut the Cheese

THIS IS NOT A JOKE!

While your noodles are boiling, it is a good time to cut the cheese. Stop laughing and get to work! I used a cheese knife, but since I'm using Velveeta, I could have just as easily cut it with my bare hands. The smaller the chunks, the faster they will melt later.
[/media-credit] While your noodles are boiling, it is a good time to cut the cheese. Stop laughing and get to work! I used a cheese knife, but since I’m using Velveeta, I could have just as easily cut it with my bare hands. The smaller the chunks, the faster they will melt later.

Step Five: WAIT FOREVER

At this point, you are waiting for the noodles to finish boiling. I like my noodles a little chewy, but I’m making dinner for my mom. This means I will be cooking my noodles for three times longer than noodles should be properly cooked–about thirty minutes total.

[media-credit id=1 align=”aligncenter” width=”550″]0823151757a (1)[/media-credit]

PRO TIP: Add a wooden spoon to keep the noodles from boiling over
0823151807c
[/media-credit] IT WORKS, BITCHES!

Step Six: Drain the Noodles

When the noodles are finally done cooking, it is time to drain them. I like to use a strainer for this, but you can get adventurous and come up with your own solutions. I do not suggest removing the water with a teaspoon. It is too time consuming and your noodles will get cold and gummy.

[media-credit id=1 align=”aligncenter” width=”550″]0823151824[/media-credit]

PRO TIP: Wash dishes as you go to avoid being yelled at by other people who use the kitchen!

Step Seven: Pour all the stuff into the pan

Open all the cans and pour them all into the pan. For best results, drain the tuna. Don’t forget to shake up the evaporated milk before opening. Otherwise, you will make a mess.

0823151827
[/media-credit] Side Note: Has anyone ever eaten cream of mushroom soup as soup? Is that a thing people do?

Step Nine: Add 1/2 of the Cheese

You need to use exactly half! No cheating! Count those cubes! I'm just kidding. Don't bother.
[/media-credit] You need to use exactly half! No cheating! Count those cubes! I’m just kidding. Don’t bother.

Step Ten: RETURN OF THE NOODLES!

0823151829
[/media-credit] Oh, and put the rest of the cheese in there. I am missing a picture…

Step Eleven: Stir it up until the Cheese is Melted

0823151830
[/media-credit] Stirring takes somewhere around forever, too.

Step Twelve: Enjoy

I like mine with crunched up crackers... and peas... Sad, lonely peas.
[/media-credit] I like mine with crunched up crackers… and peas… Sad, lonely peas.

DON’T FORGET TO WASH UP!

Fake cheese can be especially gross if you don't get it cleaned up right away!
[/media-credit] Fake cheese can be especially gross if you don’t get it cleaned up right away!

Published by M.A. Brotherton

M.A. Brotherton is a writer, blogger, artist, and fat-kid from the suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri. He’s tasted a little bit of everything the Midwest has to offer, ranging from meth-tweaking rednecks in massive underground cave complexes to those legendary amber waves of grain. When he’s not writing, he spends most of his time screwing around on the internet.