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I think I’m addicted to Zuma Blitz

Facebook brings out all of my competitive tendencies

I’m not ashamed to admit that I spend a lot of time playing Zuma Blitz on Facebook. I’m also not ashamed to admit that my addiction to the game has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I enjoy the game. I’m not entirely sure that I do enjoy playing it. I use it as a distraction when I’m procrastinating for some reason, or when I’m bored. More importantly, though, I am completely incapable of not playing as long as I’m not in first place out of all of my friends. Yes, I can’t handle the fact that several of my friends are better than me at some completely meaningless and arbitrary thing. That’s just who I am.

 

Until recently I had never really understood the draw of all the Facebook games. I used to think, man some people would have to be pretty damn desperate to spend real world money buying useless crap for their pixel people on Farmville or Vampire Emofest 11. I’ve always thought it was an insane business strategy that preyed on the weakest of humanity.

Now, I know that to be 100% true, because they’re preying on me.

No, I haven’t stooped so low as to actually buy fake money from Facebook so that I could use it to buy fake money from Pop Cap Games to buy fake super powers for my little marble spitting frog. I do, though, now understand the appeal. You see, Pop Cap has always had a way of creating an addictive product, now they’ve made an addictive product and created a limited amount of times per day you can use to play it. Yep, like a rabbid tweaker horking TVs for a quick fix, I find myself jonesing for more hearts so I can shoot more virtual marbles from a frog’s mouth.

DAMN YOU POP CAP GAMES!!!

I actually spend my free time watching the clock so that I know to go back and play again aver six minutes thirty seconds so that I can spend another minute or two shooting the marbles from my frog. I used to think that Warcraft was an addiction, but no, Zuma Blitz is freaking heroine, and someone needs to start a 12 Step group.

Of course, we could start a Facebook group for it, but someone would probably find a way to rank us in our recovery, and the cycle would all start again. Soon we’d be spending our hard earned money buying fake currency to spend on power ups to let us proudly proclaim unto the populace at large,

I’m Winning At Zuma Blitz Addiction Recovery, Damn It!

I think I just figured out how to make enough money to quit my job.

For just 12 Credits, I will write whole hearted apologies to anyone you’ve wronged through your Zuma addiction.

Any Takers?

Published by M.A. Brotherton

M.A. Brotherton is a writer, blogger, artist, and fat-kid from the suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri. He’s tasted a little bit of everything the Midwest has to offer, ranging from meth-tweaking rednecks in massive underground cave complexes to those legendary amber waves of grain. When he’s not writing, he spends most of his time screwing around on the internet.

2 thoughts on “I think I’m addicted to Zuma Blitz”

  1. Saura Selari says:

    Damn it…now I have to go play….I’d been good and not touched it all week…in fact I was near forgetting it. Now I have to go play again. *sighs* way to go!! 😛

    1. M.A. Brotherton says:

      Just call me the Toad-Ball-Pusher…. or something much cooler, if you would.

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