M.A. Brotherton, Behind the Words

It was a fateful day, the 3rd of September 1983. The world didn’t know it, yet, but a mad genius had lethargically, and against his will, been born into it. He had held out against the man’s rules that he be evicted as long as he could, and its pretty much been down hill ever since.

Born into a long line of story-tellers, Matthew Aaron (or Matt as he would come to be known by his friends and family) exhibited the trait at an early age. It was not uncommon for his elementary school teachers to have to fight off images floating inside his mind, images that were growing rapidly more complex as he aged.

A lot of kids had imaginary friends. I didn’t. I had an imaginary Scottish Terrier named Daisy. I miss her sometimes.

Absorbing information was natural for him, and it didn’t take long for him to discover that school was a giant boring waste of time that could much better be spent thinking about more important things, like foursquare or grappling-hook shooting computer gauntlets. Teachers didn’t agree with him, and he would often clash over the significance of homework versus tests.

I didn’t do homework. Ever, actually. In fifth grade I’d get a detention every 3rd assignment I didn’t do. I served a lot of detentions. By high school, no body even noticed. I tested well, who cares if i did the worksheet? College was a real eye-opener…”

After dropping out of college, Matt bummed around for several years. Mostly mooching off the intellectual property of his older brother and hiding from any semblance of responsible adulthood. Eventually, all the awesome partying would catch up with him. Physically broken and mentally shattered, he had to admit defeat and move back home to live with his parents.

I was working 16-17 hours a day, 7 days a week, and I took pills to keep up with it. After about 2 straight months of that, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I gave up, my dad literally came and got me, and it probably saved my life.

The recovery time went quickly with the support of amazing parents, and it wasn’t long until Matt was out in the world seeking new challenges, projects and friends. Somehow he even managed to find love along the way. Things were looking pretty bright for him in general. It was an awesome summer, and it ended with big changes.

My Mom got a job offer in Montana, and my parents decided that’s where they always belonged. It took a little work, but I ended that September with my father’s job and buying my parent’s house from them. It seemed like I was on my way to being  a real adult.

Life settled into an easy rut for the next couple of years. There was work, computer games, and driving across the state to see his long time love. In December of 2007 they were engaged in what his father would call, “doing the Christmas deed.” Things looked incredibly bright, but 2008 had its own ideas.

2008 was a roller coaster from the very beginning. Engaged, yay! Then Boom, house fire, boo. By the end of the year, I was in a pretty dark place.

With a house fire in February, just 2 months before the wedding, life was off to a rocky start. Couple that with a summer filled with both car and health problems and you had a cocktail recipe for disaster.

By September, I was pretty much living in denial that we were in over our heads. She was pulling away from me, and I was shutting down. By December all we did was fight. It wasn’t a surprise when she left in February.

Dark times struck again. With the majority of his support structure gone, Matt found himself floating in a sea of depression. It took a huge effort of behalf of his friends to keep him from falling back into deadly self-destructive behavior.

For a long time, there were several friends that I think were worried I was going to kill myself. I got phone calls just about every day, and visitors at lest 4 times a week. I’m pretty lucky they were there. These things just take time to recover from.

After all of that darkness, he had become a changed man. Looking for answers in science, philosophy and religion, he set out into cyberspace.

I knew there had to be something out there that I was missing, a reason I was depressed. I realized when the last time I was happy was and set about going back to that.

Re-establishing a community brought him a new creative outlet, and reminded him of his love of the sport of swordsmanship. It didn’t take long for him to find others that had missed it as well, and soon they were off and running. Having that outlet may have settled his depression, but there were long term ramifications that needed to be addressed.

Basically, I’m afraid of everything these days. I’m still working through some pretty big trust issues, and I’ve come to terms with a lot of things. Really, though, I just want to get better at life.

And with that sentiment, MABrotherton.Com was formed. Merging his two previous blogs into one place after a computer glitch wiped them out, he set down a plan to figure it all out. The road ahead is a long one, paved by one word at a time.

Basically, I’m just gonna keep writing until someone goes, “Oh My God, that’s the secret to life!” I guess if it never happens, then I never stop writing. There are a lot worse things that could happen.

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