A Lunchtime with a Deity #Reverb11

Lets do lunch! – If you could have lunch with anybody, who would it be and what would you like to discuss?


I was actually asked a little while back if I could have dinner with anyone, who I would have dinner with. It wasn’t a hard conclusion to come to, because I’ve actually thought about it several times in the past. There are a lot of people I’d like to spend an hour or two picking the brain of, but there is one entity above all others that I really would like to have a sit down with, preferably over some KFC. That entity, of course, is God.

I want you to imagine for a moment what it would mean to have a conversation with God and have God answer all of your questions back to you. It would probably be the single most important moment to happen in thousands of years. You could basically find out the secrets to everything. Also, because it’s God, obviously, the tab would be covered.

I have a giant list of questions I would ask, and some of them I’m sure I’d get a response like, “Nah, man, your mind can’t handle that yet.”

I’d ask about the big picture plan of the universe, and the small things like why men have nipples. I’d probe God’s mind on the subject of dogmatic anger, or how to solve some of the big name problems with the world.

I’d also ask if I could design an animal.

I’d give it fur and scales, just to screw with biologists… I’d make it look a bit like an armadillo, because I totally thought the armadillo was a lizard until it was pointed out to me very recently that it was in fact a mammal. I’d make it lay eggs, but also produce milk and be hot blooded, like a Platypus, but more claws and chewy teeth and less venom and flappy tails.

It’d be a pretty awesome lunch, if you asked me.


I just realized my imagination wants me to get permission from God to make Bowser, King of the Koopas, into a real animal…


Damn it, video games, you’ve robbed me of my creativity!

11 thoughts on “A Lunchtime with a Deity #Reverb11

  1. Jason Benoit says:

    What, if I can be so bold to ask, would you say if God told you that Christianity isn’t the chosen religion? 

    1. I’d not be surprised. I’ve never held a conviction that any one religion was any more valid than another. Christianity is merely my chosen belief system, and I still don’t hold too strongly to it as a religion.

      I believe that God is a universal concept, extending beyond one belief into all of them.

      The important part is the faith itself.

  2. Meredith says:

    Just make sure that when you do have lunch with Him that you specify that koopas shouldn’t be intelligent enough to erect fortresses and kidnap princesses.

    1. Hmm… stupid critters that have impenetrable hides covered in spikes and the ability to breath fire might be even more dangerous. I mean, how many princesses are left, really?

  3. I wish I’d known you as a child.

    1. I was a scary child that both cried and daydreamed of mastadons a lot.

      I’m much more interesting now that I am an adult that cries and daydreams of mastadons a lot.

  4. Ourladybeth says:

    I want to design an animal!!!

  5. noelrozny says:

    Oh my gosh, this post is awesome on so many levels. You have a great talent for writing really funny, yet serious posts. I also agree wholeheartedly with your response below. All religions are equal roads leading to the same destination.

    1. I think understanding that religion is a personal thing, not a community event, is the first step towards enlightenment and understanding.

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