So, like a ninja, I published my first ever indie title last night. It was less than 2 weeks in production, did not receive a professional edit, and I made the cover in about 2 hours in GIMP. I didn’t even bother to use Photoshop.
In essence, the Alcohologist Chronicles Episode 1 : The Glaosheimr Situation was published in the opposite manner of everything anyone successful in the Indie Publishing business tells you to do.
But, I don’t particularly regret that, because Alcohologist is an experiment.
In fact, nothing about Alcohologist should ever be successful. It’s short (less than 7500 words), it’s adults only (there is a penis on the cover, if you can’t tell), and it’s not particularly skillfully written.
In fact, my father came to me this morning and said, “Shoulda sent it to an editor.”
Here’s what AC1:TGS is:
It’s fun. It was fun to write. I hope it’s fun to read, and, damn it, the cover was fun to doodle. I’m not saying that this is my magna opus, but, I did truly enjoy writing it.
Now, that being said, I should probably get to the second point my dad made this morning: There should be a warning.
Now, if the airship drawing a penis on the planet with a laser wasn’t an indication to you that this might not be suitable for children, it’s very much not. If the product description that defines the book as NSFW doesn’t persuade you, I don’t know how to go about helping you. So, if the newly added page (probably will be live by tomorrow morning) doesn’t stop you, I’m going to spell it out for you here:
THIS BOOK IS FULL OF DICK JOKES AND GRATUITOUS USES OF THE F-WORD. DO NOT READ IT IF YOU’RE SENSITIVE TO LANGUAGE.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: SPACE HERPES, NORDIC FAITH, AN ALIEN RACE THAT IS DESCRIBED LEAST OFFENSIVELY AS A SPOOGE GOLEM!
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
If you’re still interested in reading, you can pick it up from Amazon today and Kobo soon. We’ll get into Barnes and Noble in the next week or so, and maybe somewhere else, but I doubt it. Everywhere else is a pain in the ass.
If you’d like to know more about releases of The Alcohologist Chronicles, you can sign up for my newsletter, and I’ll let you know as soon as Episode 2 is ready. Trigger Warning: My co-writer (Yeti Detective) is a very busy man, what with his needing to produce More Than a Sextape and not get murdered for living in Florida.