My Mom is Better Than Yours

Allow me a moment to sound a bit childish:

My Mom is better than Yours!

There I said it. I know, I know, you probably think I’m joking. I mean, there’s a pretty good chance that your mom is awesome. She might have super powers. She might be winner of multiple “Mom of the Year” awards from the International Association of The World’s Best Moms. Still, as awesome as your mom is, she’s not as awesome as my mom.

It isn’t hard to figure out why my mom is so great. I mean, she did raise four pretty good kids. I mean, look at me! I’m almost a functional adult and I pretty much started out as far from that as humanly possible. It didn’t matter to my mom, though. No matter how broken and twisted my brain might have been, she just keep plugging away at making sure I became a real boy.

Look, I write about my dad all the time,but the truth is, he wouldn’t be the dad he was if it wasn’t for my mom.

She is a force of maternal nature.

Seriously, you don’t want to mess with her.

She can comfort any pain with a hug or fill you with guilt over the dishes with a mere expression on her face.

She can simultaneously cook a dinner and crochet a pair of warm slippers.

One time, she singlehandedly photographed a bear!

She instilled in me an appreciation of country music that I believe makes me well rounded.

I have to admit, the majority of my memories of my mom involve silly conversations in the car or semiserious conversations while she sat knitting and watching TV. I know we had many serious conversations as well, but I have a pathological need to avoid remembering serious things.

As I sit here writing this, I’ve come to a sudden realization that my mother has made some rather bawdy jokes over the years. How have I never noticed that before….

My mom is one of the few people I know that can type faster than I can. She’s a hell-of-a-lot more accurate, too.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard my mom drop the F-bomb, but she’s said just about all the other swears in my presence.

She has all these practical skills that I will never possess, like the ability to catch fish or grow plants.

To keep this post short and sweet, my mom rocks  the casabah.

Your mom might be Super-Mom. Your mom might even be a Jedi.

No matter, what, though, you mom isn’t as awesome as mine.

That’s just a scientific fact.