For the last couple of days, I’ve been feeling a little worn down and beaten. My emotions tend to bounce back and forth from irrational numbness to complete, violent, overwhelming frustration. I just can’t seem to get my head around my heart, so to speak. I haven’t ever felt something like this before. It’s not depression. Depression I’m familiar with, it’s more of a cold, clammy hand squeezing gingerly on my soul.
It has to be related to depression, though, because it has that familiar odor of hopeless angst that flavors all of those emo-spirals. I have this feeling that no matter what I do, things are going to just keep getting worse. I’m filled with dread. All. The. Time.
I just keep getting angry. I get angry because the computer is too slow. I get angry because I can’t find something I’m looking for.
I get angry because everything I write sucks giant dung-piles.
I really just feel like life is continuously kicking me in the crotch.
Every time I think I’m about to make a break for it and be in the clear again, another wave of crotch-kicks comes rollin’ in.
I don’t really see any end.
Maybe I should try investing in a metaphysical cup.