Tonight, after work, I start the Abmonster on Steroid treatments. This is the end of the line, Hail-Mary Play. This will either work, or… well, we’ll talk about that when the time comes.
I’m trying to remain optimistic, but I also know that I need to come to terms with her sickness. Friday night, when I got home from work, her tumor had grown to about the size of a nerf football. I was very panicked, but convinced myself to wait until Saturday morning because she had a vet appointment and it would be okay by then… it had to be. I was in a bit of denial.
Saturday morning, we went and saw the vet. It was not a very good meeting. Like I said, the tumor on Abbey’s side was swollen quite large and she hasn’t really be eating anything. When the vet took a look, we found that not only was it hugely swollen, it was also nasty and infected. I basically had a nervous breakdown. I was certain that my girl wasn’t going to make it through the day.
The Vet talked with me for a long time about options, and I decided that it wouldn’t hurt Abbey to wait a few hours for x-ray results. The vet told me that if it was the bad scenario, then she would be able to tell. If it wasn’t, then we’d have to send them off to the radiologist. Abbey went back into the back with the doctor, much, much more reluctantly than she ever had before, and I went to wait outside, my heart broken. If the fact that we had been talking about her death hadn’t been enough to rip my soul to shreds, that look as she was pulled back into the hospital was. Abbey didn’t want to be separated from me. She knew she didn’t have a lot of time left. She wanted to spend it with me, not the vet.
About an hour later, I got a call from the vet telling me to come pick up the Abmonster because the x-rays were going to the radiologist and those results could take a couple of hours to 24 hours. She didn’t think either Abbey or I would want to be separated while we waited. I went back inside and picked up my girl to take her home. I was still a wreck, but a little bit more put together than I had been. She wasn’t out of the woods, just given temporary reprieve.
A couple of hours later, we got a call from the vet again. Her organs and chest were clean. The cancer hadn’t gone beyond the surface, and we might be able to treat it without surgery. She’s going to be on a pretty strong steroid treatment for a while, and we should know within a week or two if it’s going to work. I have my fingers crossed. At this point, it’s either the steroids work or.. well, that’s a bridge we don’t have to cross just yet.
In the meantime, Abbey is very unresponsive at home. She still isn’t eating her normal food, but won’t say no to treats. She does snub her nose at peanut butter now, but I think it’s because she’s figured out that peanut butter means medicine. She is drinking water again, and doing it as fast as her little tongue can lap it up. I think that’s probably a good sign.
She’s out of it most of the time, though. She lays underneath my desk and tries not to move. I know she’s in pain and suffering from infection. I just hope that this treatment isn’t coming too late.
I’m trying to stay optimistic, but I’ve always been a realist. I know what’s coming. This is the Hail-Mary Miracle play. It will either save the team or end the season.
I think you know which way I’d write it.