Bad Poetry Day

[media-credit id=1 align=”aligncenter” width=”550″]Seriously-Potato-Preview[/media-credit]I am not a poet, but I took a poetry class my freshman year of high school, so I think I’m a pretty good expert on poetry. I even know some real poets, like Mark Stratton, who writes real poems. You can even buy some of them. I suggest you do, it’s worth it, both for the enjoyment of the poetry and as a deterrent from sparkly-vampires.  Seriously, glitter-goths hate good poetry.  I think it’s because good poetry lacks the proper rainy-soul-miasma to really get them into a good slump.

Me, I’m not a good poet.

I’m the other kind.

You know… The opposite of that.

But I am good at syllable counting and rhyming schemes!

As far as that one class I took 15 years ago is concerned, that basically makes me a master poet.

So here are some poems…. If you don’t like them, clearly it’s because you don’t get them… or something.

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It’s bright,

The sun burns,

Enemy of man,

provider of heat,

I say we kill it,

With fire…



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Jumbles of Words

Ranting in Motion

Prose over Verse

Then Comes The Big Reveal


I suck at this.


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No one understand why I do these things

I keep myself going on puppets strings

Dance for the demons of my head

Dance for the monster under the bed

The darkness is never quite broken

All the time the words are spoken

Seriously, potato.


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Telephones are hard to write on

Chocolate creamer in my tea

Gross but delicious all the same

I can’t believe I’m doing this

I must have nothing to say

Mark, I’m sorry

Poems are hard

This one is really bad

Please don’t judge me

Or do, I don’t care

I need more matchbox cars


See, bad poems.

I hope they were bad enough to justify you reading them.

I’m not really a poet, but I wanted to spread some wings of whimsy and verse.

Thanks for indulging me.

Now, it’s your turn.

Write some bad poems (or good ones if you know how). It’s… liberating.