Recurring Dream

I have a recurring dream about the world ending, groundhogs, and light-saber wielding lizard demons. Trust me, it all makes perfect sense, is possibly prophetic, I’m sure, and might be my subconscious’s way of telling me something very important, like the world is about to end.

Conversely, it could be that I’ve played way too many video games in my life, and my mind is dealing with all the trauma associated with that in the only way it knows how.

Either way, I’m pretty sure the only way to get it out of my head is to just finally talk about it. Since I don’t have a therapist, and most of my friends rightly throw things at me when I start talking about my strange dreams (giant oreos and things of such nature are not uncommon entries), that leaves this blog. I hope you’re okay with that. If you’re not, I suggest you go and read something else I’ve written. Possible this fictional story about car accidents. I’m fairly proud of it.

If it makes you more comfortable, you can just remind yourself that all of this is the work of the subconscious mind of a rabid mad man… or is it?

The Doomsday Groundhog Dream

It was about 10 years ago that I first learned about the cult warship/paranoid delusions surrounding the Anunnaki. At the time, I was pretty heavy into occult and arcane lore, possibly even still in that phase where I believed I was a wizard or something. I’m not entirely sure I grew out of that phase, there is a lot of strange things that happen all the time, but I do think I have grown a more mature and skeptical mind these days. Some of my more scientifically minded friends might disagree, or even point out that I have a tendency to understand science while maintaining a preference for mysticism.  To me, that’s okay. It’s the American paradox. I’m free to believe what I want to believe, if it makes me happy, so long as I remember that my beliefs are my own and not necessarily shared by those around me.

The consumptive knowledge that the world can have different and equally respected viewpoints is really the basis of our culture, even if in the modern world it seems like that understanding has been lost forever.

It is important to understand both the mindset I had when I began having this dream and the mindset I have now because the dream has been recurring for the last decade, mostly unchanged. In fact, what I can remember of the dream is never subtracted or replaced, the changes in it only come from new details and sections being added. It is interesting to me, and probably to the doctors that will eventually decide that I am a danger to myself and civilization, that the dreams of a 19 year old goth kid with delusions of witchcraft and a 29 year old skeptic with delusions of adulthood are so closely linked in my subconscious.

When I was told about the Annunaki Conspiracy, it triggered something primal and insane inside me. This was before my foray into the glamorous world of Ephedra, and I wasn’t really used to having my mind blown like that. All of the “facts” just clicked in my head and seemed to make perfect sense.

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, I’ll try to explain it as simply and basically as possible:

The Annunaki of mythology where Sumerian Gods that were the children of the Elder ones and the creators of mankind. They were reptilian in appearance but fully able to change shape at will. They could not be harmed by any weapon made by mortal man and even worse, they could control the minds of any human with ease.

That’s a massive oversimplification of some really amazing and complicated mythology, which only gets more muddled as time separates us from those who held it as belief, especially as H.P. Lovecraft tended to draw heavily on it for his own mythos, but I think it works to set up the second half of the conspiracy theory.

The Annunaki were super advanced aliens that genetically altered monkeys into people, then either stayed and ruled over us as all of our political leaders through out history, or flew back off into space, vowing to one day return and reclaim their slaves.

The details are sketch and often argued over.

What stuck in my mind was the idea of super-demon-aliens, though, and it stuck there hard. I became a little obsessive with the entire thing, all of my knowledge at the time coming second hand from a less than reputable source. Also during that time I started dating woman that encouraged my creativity, and seemed perfectly content to both allow me to believe in demon-aliens and play along in her own way.

I should probably mention that I’m not sure that anyone in that social circle was entirely sane. Some of the coolest, best people I have ever met, but definitely a complete group of wackadoos. I fit in pretty well.

From this seed my mind began to hatch something. At first it was something simple and, I’m sure, nostalgia filled.

I had a dream of myself and a couple of my friends fighting a giant lizard monster with energy swords. On my wrist, I was wearing a digital computer that was counting down to something I knew was important, but couldn’t pay attention to during the first dream. We fought a losing battle, and just before the timer on my arm hit Zero, the thought, “Better Luck Next Time,” ran through my head. In the dream, the clock beeped, I died, and then woke up as a teenager.

That was it. That was the original dream.

Over the years, my mind, sometimes consciously sometimes sleeping, has added to the dream. The meaning of the timer,  the creation of energy swords, and even what lies beyond the lizard demon have fleshed out in my head. It’s a growing story, like a fire with a slow steady source of fuel. It grows and breaths.

I’m running out of space for today, and I think you’ve probably got the idea of what the dream is now, but I’ll add this one last bit. In the dream, I know that I have had the exact same experience, time and time again.

I know that I’m the Bill Murray of Lizard Demon Fighting, and that’s where the nostalgia kicks in.

Maybe I’ll share more of the story on the next play through.