I’ve been having a hard time getting into Reverb this year. I don’t know if it is just that I’m still feeling pretty under the weather, or if it’s because I feel like I’ve already poured out a lot of my personal demons, faced them, and moved on. I spent a lot of time this year on introspection and now I’m not sure how deep I really am, anyway. There is only so much well to tap here.
I’ve actually gotten a little afraid. You see, it feels a little like I might have already depleted my reserves of real emotions. For a writer, that’s about as bad as having all of your fingers cut off. Worse, probably, since without fingers I could still slap a microphone in front of my face and run some talk-to-text software to get that out there, anyway. Running out of the juice of a story, though, the raw experiences that drive us, that’s about the worst thing that can ever happen to a person.
I that’s where I feel like I’m at right now.
That isn’t to say that I’m burnt out or giving up or anything like that. I just feel like what I have to share isn’t doing justice to #Reverb11 and the community that has sprung up around it. There are some amazing reverbers, people like Jason Benoit, who can leave you sitting in a pool of your own tears, your emotions betraying you as his words play you like a fiddle. It’s been hard enough just keeping up with reading the brilliant writing going on this year, let alone trying to keep up with the writing itself.
Anyway, I plan to spend some time this weekend recharging my batteries a little, reading the wonderful writing of the other bloggers in the reverb community, and maybe getting a lot of sleep. Then, I should be ready to bounce back and plumb the depths of my soul again.
I’d like to think that I’ve still got a lot of myself to go. I’d hate to have hit the bottom of the barrel with just this.