My Life is Like this Bookshelf
In some ways, my life is a crowded jumbled mess of seemingly random objects piled, by an disorganized force, into an incoherent jumble. To some, it might seem as though its filled with useless crap, others see a shelf piled full of information and entertainment. It is worn with time, and sagging a little under all that weight, but it’s still standing.
Such a huge collection of eclectic crap has to add up to something. Taking the time to dig through it, organize it and through away the trash would probably be a good thing for the shelf. It would loose the excess weight the trash adds. Organizing it would distribute the weight evenly, possibly allowing it to recover some of its sag.
But, I don’t organize my shelf, because my shelf is like me, and it’s not so easy to just go into my brain, throw out the trash and neatly restack the books. My brain is a jumbled mess, and I have to learn to deal with things in that order. Besides, I know exactly where everything is in my pile system.
Now, where’d I leave my keys.
Trying to Find a Way Back
I’ve been trying for a while now to figure out exactly what it is I’m doing and where I’m going. I’ve been through a rough few years and spent a lot of time in a pretty dark place filled with apathy. Recently, I’ve been starting to feel a lot less like I’m fumbling around in the dark just trying to keep one foot in front of the other. For the last few weeks I’ve been feeling more like I can see what’s around me, but I still have no real idea where the heck I am or where I’m going.
Sometimes I think people who follow a plan to strictly aren’t quite doing it right. It’s good to get lost sometimes so you can discover new things. If you just keep blindly following the same path, how can you ever be sure it’s the right path for you?
I’m gonna try them all.