Working Sucks.

photo credit: Furryscaly

That’s probably not the most original or creative thought in the world, but it’s something that needs to be said more often. My high school guidance councilor (and every Be-you-own-boss-work-from-home scam on the internet) used to say things like, “If it’s fun, it’s not work.” I wonder how many problems I would have avoided in life if my early advisors had given me more than fortune cookie level advice. Probably not much farther than I have now. We all know that jobs suck, and if you work really hard and are really lucky, you can stumble into the one thing you are perfect for and be happy forever.

I’m not buying it.  The two jobs I’ve had in my life that I’ve enjoyed the most have both eventually driven me insane, and I enjoyed them at the beginning. I don’t think there is any one career out there I would be content with forever. What I have started doing, and found that it keeps me from going insane and quitting my job, is following the High Fidelity advice. If you have a Top 5 Dream Jobs list, put your current job as number 5. Obviously you’ve chosen it over everything else that was available to you. You have to appreciate what you have.

Top 5 Dream Jobs

1) Billionaire Playboy – Ok. I think this should probably go on the top of everyone’s list of dream jobs. It’s basically saying, “Guy that does whatever he feels like doing.” Also, unless you actually have some form of superpower, its a pre-requisite to the greatest hobby ever; being batman.

2)Darren Brown – I’m not sure if just being Darren Brown is an actual job, or if there is some other word for what he does, but I want his ability to convince just about anyone of just about anything. The first time I saw on Mind Control, I knew that I wanted to master his particular form of mesmerism. Then I found out it takes years of practice and study. I think convincing people that blank sheets of paper are money is probably a skill that’s worth training. Also, it might come in handy if you wanted to do something awesome, like fight crime.

3) Private Consulting Detective for Interpol – I’ve never really wanted to be a cop or anything like that, but I have a annoying habit of  solving most mystery shows in about 10 minutes, and find that I’m generally more observant than most people. Really, it would be awesome to just walk in and solve a crime that a bunch of highly trained specialists haven’t been able to figure out. Doing that for Interpol gives me the benefit of doing it all over the world, and I’d get to live in France. Who doesn’t want to live in France?

4) Actual, Legit Writer – I write. One day I hope to get paid for it. Some day after that, I’d like to become famous enough that I get to be the guest on Conan that no one has ever heard of before. Mostly I just want to be able to lay on the love seat, stare off into space while my fingers dance on the keyboard, and then get paid for it. I just have to figure out how to get that to work out for me now.

5) What I actually do now- My job isn’t horrible. It’s not exactly an exciting thrill ride, but it’s stable and pays me pretty well. It would be nice if I didn’t have to spend so much time being patronized by my boss or shouted at by customers, but I’m pretty sure that is what they pay me for. The only downside to my job is that I worry that I have too much slack. We’re starting to get busier again, though, so this might not be a problem much longer.

So, what jobs are on you’re top 5?