Time heals all wounds
Its something we’ve heard our entire lives. Its the advice we’re given when things happen we aren’t ready to handle. We scoff, lost in the moment of darkness that has clung to our hearts, and ignore it. Instead, we focus on the pain and frustration, dragging through life one day at a time. Eventually, we look up and realize that we just don’t hurt anymore. Its true, Time has healed us.
Its not always that easy, though. In the depths of that darkness and despair, it becomes very easy to give up, to give in and let the pain take control. Its in those dark moments, that we understand how someone can turn to destructive behavior like drug abuse, or suicide, or worse. Some of us are strong enough to move through those moments on our own. Some of us are not. If time is the medication needed to make us better, then friends and family are the life support we need to keep us alive.
In the last couple of years, I’ve been struggling with letting go of my past. I’ve been letting myself be guided along by the pain of my divorce, and the fear that I would ultimately be alone and useless. When everything first happened, I had a good friend beside me that kept me from making some really stupid decisions that night. I went out in search of chemicals to numb the pain, and he convinced me instead to sit at IHOP and have some dinner.
A few days later, I was sitting alone in my house, and finally worked up enough courage to accept that it had happened at all and called my father. I have a very strong relationship with my dad. He’s been there for me for a long time, and I honestly am not sure I would have survived the first week after she left if it wasn’t for him. I don’t remember what he said to me that night. It probably wasn’t even that profound, but it was pretty much exactly what I needed to hear. I’m sure some variation of time heals all wounds was in there.
Over the next few months, my friends defiantly watched out for me. Sometimes it felt like they were buoys in a storm that I could cling to, and sometimes it felt a little like I was being actively babysat by my peers. I’m always going to be thankful for that. Eventually, I had grown strong enough to come off of life support, and could be trusted on my own. I kept on moving, one day at a time. I looked at my life, and truly began for the first time to analyze what made me happy. I started perusing the things I wanted, and actively ridding myself of the things that didn’t fulfill that goal.
Its been almost two years since the fight that finally ended my marriage. There are still times when that fact stabs at me like a phantom pain, but its faint, and rare. I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point, I’ve let go of it all, and learned not to dwell on the past. Now, I’m looking forward to starting off the new year, and really moving forward as a new person.
When you are lost in the dark, who is it in your life that shines that light?