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One Day I will Seek Vengeance For This….

So there is this thing running around the internet. It haunts the pages of blog after blog, not unlike one of those terrifying “Ice-Breaker” party games we’re forced to play on the first day of class. It’s filled with an infectious need to nose into the deeply suppressed personal lives of the people around you, giving us all the chance to be the voyeur peeping through the windows to watch as our friends and contemporaries neatly arrange the skeletons in their closets.

So naturally, it found it’s way around the cyber spaces and stabbed it’s barbed hooks into my tender fleshes.

Seriously, Thanks, Mark. It’s an honor to know that you want to peep into my crazy closet.

The Rules:
  1. Post these rules
  2. You must post 11 random things about yourself
  3. Answer the questions set for you in the post you were tagged in
  4. Create 11 new questions for your tagees to answer
  5. Tag them on Twitter, Facebook or your blog (or all of the above)

11 Random Facts About Me

  1. I have 2 Birthmarks. The first I refer to as “Belly Mole,” because it is, well, a giant mole 3 inches to the left of my belly button. His name is “Sven.” The second is a strawberry shaped thing on my butt. I don’t really know what it looks like, but it’s on that thing they issue when you’re born that says what birthmarks you have. I don’t spend a lot of time looking at my own butt.
  2. Would it be cheating to say “I don’t spend a lot of time looking at my own butt?” Probably. Instead how about: My toenails grow at a ridiculous rate. I mean it’s crazy fast. I’ve been told that the psychotically fast growth rate of my nails (and hair for that matter) is a result of my massively powerful chi. I’ll take what I can get, I suppose.
  3. I always spell ridiculous as “rediculous”, and then have to go back and correct it afterwards. I don’t even know why. At least I don’t spell it “Re-Dick-alus” which is how the word sounds in my head. For this, I blame perfect strangers. (The voices in my head often sound like they are quoting Balki)
  4. I believe there is a balance in the universe. I believe that most people strive to maintain that balance, but there are some that are either inherently constructive or inherently destructive. The universe needs both. I also sometimes fear that humanity as a species is far too heavy on the destructive side.
  5. I don’t put much stock in astrology, but I had my birth chart done and it was pretty uncanny.
  6. I believe rules are there for a purpose and I get extremely anxious when I’m even in the presence of someone breaking one.
  7. I’m pretty good at understanding people and their emotions, which is ironic considering how blind I am to my own and how horrible I am at talking to people.
  8. I go through shoes way to fast. They always break at the ball of my foot. This is related to the fact that my favorite activity in the world is driving.
  9. I’m not afraid of getting shots, but I am afraid of getting pierced. It doesn’t make sense inside my head either. Some things just freak me out.
  10.    I’m also extremely afraid of fire, or more accurately, accidently causing one. This is a little bit founded, but still. I have panic attacks.
  11.   I was raised in an Agnostic/Christian household, and never really had religion pushed on me. Instead, I spread out and absorbed as many belief systems as I could. In the end, I came to one very simple and unbreakable conclusion: Human beings are stupid, disgusting, greedy monsters, and the more of them involved in a spiritual connection, the worse off everyone is. God is a personal thing. Religion is the antithesis of that.

Mark’s 11 Questions

What’s your favorite way to enjoy bacon?

Is there a bad way to enjoy bacon? Seriously, I’ve never been like, “this is a poor way to eat bacon.” Of course, I’ve never eaten it completely raw before, so there might be that. I guess the absolute best way to enjoy bacon though… is in piles of crisp fried strips… mmmm. bacon.

Milk Chocolate or Dark Chocolate?

Milk chocolate. Dark Chocolate is bitter and stinky.

 

Name the one book you could have with you if you were stuck in an elevator over the weekend?

My own empty notebook. A large one, preferably.

What is your favorite song that would embarrass the heck out of you if anyone knew?

I’m not embarrassed by my music choices, generally, but I’ll say, “anything by Nickleback,” since the internet hates them for some reason that I can’t quite figure out. Butt-rock they may be, but good butt-rock at least.

First name of the first person you kissed in a non-family sort of way.

Tiffany.

If you had it all to do over again, would you?

Yes, but this time there would be less moping and more awesome. Possible a lightsaber duel.

If you were going to buy me lunch, where would it be?

Where ever, I’m not picky. There’s a Ryan’s close by. That’s all you can eat buffet, and they have something for everyone.

If I was going to buy YOU lunch, where would it be?

Mmm… let’s hit the lunch buffet at KFC.

Which is scarier, spiders?  Snakes? Clowns?

Out of those three? Snakes. Not particularly afraid of any of them, but I think in a fight, I’ve got the best survival chances against a clown and a spider.

Favorite movie made from a Stephen King book?

The Langoliers. It has Balki… as a bad guy.

What do you want to be if you grow up?

A sentient cloud of nano-bots. Or possibly just God. Either way, you know… I’m okay with it.

Bonus, Extra Credit, Only if you Wanna: What’s your favorite song by Boz Scaggs?

WTF is a Boz Scaggs? Is that a boyband from the 90s or a one of those 80s teen pop princesses? Either way, I don’t listen to that kind of music.

 

My 11 Questions to YOU:

  1. Is it secret? Is it safe?
  2. If you like, why didn’t you put a ring on it?
  3. Honestly, when was the last time you consumed your weight in Fried Chicken?
  4. Why do people still think Lady Gaga is a woman?
  5. What’s the deal with New Zealand, anyway?
  6. What is the most attractive fashion accessory?
  7. Alright, I’ve been infected with Zombosis, but I’m locked in a cage made of bullet proof glass. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
  8. WWE Tag Team Championship on the line, who wins: The Mario Brothers or Banjo Kazooie?
  9. What is your favorite cold beverage?
  10. Should I shave my mustache off?
  11. We know who’s better between Kirk and Picard, but how about between Janeway and Sisko?

I TAG YOU!

Yep, I’ve decided that I’m going to tag everyone that isn’t actually a blogger. If you are a blogger, you can be tagged, too, if you’d like.

If you don’t have anywhere else to post these crazy thoughts, you can put them in my comments. Or send me an email. Maybe I’ll collect them into a puzzle book and let other people try to figure out who’s answers go where!

I’m willing to admit right now that I don’t like these memes because I get a strange form of social anxiety from the need to tag people in things.

 

I know… I know…

I’m ashamed of me too.

Published by M.A. Brotherton

M.A. Brotherton is a writer, blogger, artist, and fat-kid from the suburbs of Kansas City, Missouri. He’s tasted a little bit of everything the Midwest has to offer, ranging from meth-tweaking rednecks in massive underground cave complexes to those legendary amber waves of grain. When he’s not writing, he spends most of his time screwing around on the internet.

5 thoughts on “One Day I will Seek Vengeance For This….”

  1. Mark says:

    Baha….puzzle book….brilliant.  Absolutely brilliant.

    At least you don’t spell it ‘Re-donk-u-lus’  and that’s a GREAT thing.

    Thanks for playing along, Matt.  Great answers.  Truly enjoyed these.

  2. Roxanne says:

    Loved the empty notebook answer. And couldn’t agree more on bacon! Though I have to say, my bet for why you go through your shoes quickly was on those quickly growing toenails 😉 

    1. M.A. Brotherton says:

      I TRIM THEM! Almost daily.

  3. Inkytwig says:

    Is it secret? Is it safe?  yes, maybe?If you like, why didn’t you put a ring on it? ummm – i did?Honestly, when was the last time you consumed your weight in Fried Chicken? i cannot remember – never?Why do people still think Lady Gaga is a woman? i don’tWhat’s the deal with New Zealand, anyway? They’re dealing?What is the most attractive fashion accessory? a smile?Alright, I’ve been infected with Zombosis, but I’m locked in a cage made of bullet proof glass. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? play the carpenters nonstop for you.WWE Tag Team Championship on the line, who wins: The Mario Brothers or Banjo Kazooie? Mario Bros.What is your favorite cold beverage? iced teaShould I shave my mustache off? nah.We know who’s better between Kirk and Picard, but how about between Janeway and Sisko? I liked Sisko

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